"If we do not give thanks daily for the Christian fellowship in which we have been placed, even where there is no great experience, no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith and difficulty, if on the contrary, we only keep complaining to God that everything is so paltry and petty, so far from what we expected, then we hinder God from letting our fellowship grow according to the measure and riches which are there for us all in Jesus Christ."
Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoffer (p. 29)
That particular quote spoke volumes to my yearning heart at the time. You see I had just experienced a major life change. I had graduated college and moved a fair distance away from my closest friends - my "framily" as I call them. Not just my closest friends, but also an amazing church and church family that the Lord used so masterfully to grow me in my faith and personal walk with Him. Mountains were moved and the walls around my heart were painstakingly, yet lovingly brought down. The fellowship that I had enjoyed with my closest friends (the framily) and my beloved church family was so incredibly rich, that I thought I had it made. I knew what I would be leaving behind as I followed in obedience to the next steps the Lord had for me. But I think that I believed that in those next steps I would blissfully step right into new friendships that would prove to be just as rich, encouraging and like iron sharpening iron.
Those days, weeks, and months after the move proved to be quite a challenge for me. I 'll save the details of that time for my personal journal, but I found myself to be very lonely - stuck in a dry desert in a sense. I knew the Lord was with me, I never doubted that, but I was so incredibly homesick for the sweet and familiar fellowship of those I left behind.
I remember finding this book Life Together at a used bookstore. I greatly admire Dietrich Bonhoffer, so I knew it would be good and challenging reading. Oh, the conviction that gripped my heart after reading that one long sentence! I immediately knew that I was to repent of my ungratefulness. I began to have a new attitude toward where the Lord had me, and those he had placed in my life. And now that I think back upon that time, I believe I was able to let go of my bitterness toward God for taking me away from such sweet fellowship, and after that, I began to get plugged in. I led a wonderful book study out of my home for several ladies in the church, and the new friendships began to grow. Fellowship was increased as I focused on the Lord and less on myself and what I thought I needed in my life.
And nearly five years later I see the fruit of that time. Just today I had lunch with an amazing group of women who passionately love the Lord, love talking about the Lord, love praying together, laughing together and sharing our lives together.
Sweet, sweet fellowship in the Lord.
My life is such a contrast now compared to then. But that's what the Lord does! And then, He sends a small piece of tablet paper, with handwriting that was clearly made in haste in an eye and heart-opening moment in my life - just to remind me that He has indeed led me from the desert sands of my own sin to the life-giving springs of His grace.
