A friend of mine sent this to me in an email and I thought it was blog-worthy. A lot of times I grow disturbingly discontent. Thinking, "I wish my life turned out different," or "should I really be here?" or "What can I do today to get me where I want to be?"
03/09/2009
By the grace of God, we cannot quite pull it off. In the quiet moments of the day we sense a nagging within, a discontentment, a hunger for something else. But because we have not solved the riddle of our existence, we assume that something is wrong—not with life, but with us. Everyone else seems to be getting on with things. What’s wrong with me? We feel guilty about our chronic disappointment. Why can’t I just learn to be happier in my job, in my marriage, in my church, in my group of friends? You see, even while we are doing other things, “getting on with life,” we still have an eye out for the life we secretly want. When someone seems to have gotten it together, we wonder, ,i>How did he do it? Maybe if we read the same book, spent time with him, went to his church, things would come together for us as well. You see, we can never entirely give up our quest. Gerald May reminds us,
When the desire is too much to bear, we often bury it beneath frenzied thoughts and activities or escape it by dulling our immediate consciousness of living. It is possible to run away from the desire for years, even decades, at a time, but we cannot eradicate it entirely. It keeps touching us in little glimpses and hints in our dreams, our hopes, our unguarded moments. (The Awakened Heart)
He says that even though we sleep, our desire does not. “It is who we are.” We are desire. It is the essence of the human soul, the secret of our existence. Absolutely nothing of human greatness is ever accomplished without it. Desire fuels our search for the life we prize. The same old thing is not enough. It never will be.
(Desire , 10–11)
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I think God works out His masterful plans through the desires He gives. And a lot of times uses discontent to move us to new places.
There have been many times, especially here lately that I have desired the things that I don't have, namely discontent in my singleness. It's odd, I go back and forth in this. I know it all depends on who I spend time with. My single friends draw discontent because often times the conversation turns to those desires of our hearts to serve in marriage and have a family. My married friends spur me on to enjoy this season and to use my time, talent and efforts for the Lord in drawing closer to Him and serving Him in various ways! That is my ultimate desire for my time now - and OH! How Satan hates that! Because even in that discontent, I believe there is nothing I can do to help the situation. I'm not one to chase the boys or put myself out there. I believe wholeheartedly that as Eve was created for Adam, I too was created especially for someone. I trust in the Lord and His timing!! I know the consequences of taking things into my own hands.
I think my friend has it right that discontentment is an allurement into the very throne room of God.
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